Just a little while longer

So in a week and a half, I head down to Natchez. That's really crazy to say. Hard to believe it's here already. I'm kinda eh about it. I mean, I'm excited to get down there. Maybe not quite as excited as I was last summer, cause I know what to expect now. But less nervous. And a lot more excited to see the people I know from down there. I also know that I may not be coming back after these 10 weeks, except to get my stuff from my apartment. Now that's anything but definite. I don't know what's going to happen with the jobs I've applied for. I could be back here after 10 weeks. But there's a possibility I won't be either. And that's a really weird feeling.

Last night was my graduation/going away party. I was a little nervous cause I have very different groups of friends, and I wasn't sure if they'd all get along. But it was GREAT! Everyone had a good time, I think. Except for one friend who's back window got broken. I felt SO BAD. But it's OK everything was fine, they didn't take anything. Possibly some recyclables, which we think she took out already. But nothing else. Luckily she'd cleaned her car out already. But other than that, it was wonderful. I felt really special seeing how many people came out, and very celebrated. Thank you to everyone that came!! And thank you to my AMAZING parents who did that for me.

My only bummer from last night. I forgot my camera!! So I didn't get any pictures! BUMMER!

I guess I said bye last night to people. It just didn't feel like bye. This is so hard.

Life's like a road that you travel on, where there's one day here and the next day gone

Yeah I kinda have an obsession with using song lyrics as the title for my posts. I'm a little crazy. Sorry.

So my trip down the road of life (yep I just used that cliche) with Campbell House ended today. It was my last day at Campbell House Museum. 5 years there. We had a good run. I worked really hard. And I grew to love the family. I know I wouldn't be where I am today (just graduated with a masters in museum studies) without that place. So I owe it a lot. Now, I am happy to be done. It feels GREAT to finally finish. But I"m also sad. I cried when I left. Not because I"m leaving the job. Or even cause I'm leaving the staff there, who are AMAZING but I know I'll keep up wtih them via email and facebook and stuff. I cried because i was leaving the Campbells. Robert, Virginia, Lucy, the boys, Gus. That's what made it hard. Before you all start thinking I"m crazy, let me explain. My first summer there, I transcribed 300 personal letters of the family. That means I read them and typed them into the computer. I then went through a HUGE estate case with lots of stories of the family. I've also posted letters on a blog and written a children's book about the story. I know these people like the back of my hand. To me, the Campbells are just like the characters in a favorite book that you read over and over - they are real to me, even though I've never met them. Actually, they're more than that. The Campbells are family. So leaving them was REALLY REALLY hard. Like I said, I cried, something I haven't done since my very first summer there.

But like I said, lately life has always been there to offer me a balance. Today it was my cousin Lauren. I got to talk to her and celebrate the fact that she and her husband Kevin are having a GIRL in October! As I put it, they're going to have a "little curly-headed, smart, kinda weird, ham", the perfect mix of both of them. I can't wait to meet this sweet little baby girl! And it's exciting, cause of my cousins that have had kids, we've had 3 boys so far. It's nice to have a girl in the mix! We're so excited, CONGRATS LAUREN AND KEVIN!!!

So I now leave you with this...

That's right folks. That's my soon to be second-cousin, the first girl of the next generation. And that little booger is WAVING!

Celebrate good times, come on!

So I probably shouldn't post this out there but whatev. Sunday my parents are having a shindig for me to celebrate the fact that I graduated. It's also to send me off in style, cause I"m headed to Natchez for 10 weeks. Sunday May 23. 7:00. Burgers and hot dogs and such will be served. My parents house. Email or facebook me for more info. COME!

P-A-R-T-YYYY? Because I GOTTA!

Yep. I totally just pulled out that cheesy Jim Carrey 1990's line from the Mask. Cause I"m cool like that.

Seriously though yesterday was Mom and Dad's party. Considering the way that the Heugatter family gets ready for parties, there was very little drama with this one. And everyone had a blast. Mom and Dad definitely felt celebrated, as they should have, cause if anybody deserves to be celebrated it's those two. They loved everything we did for them, and I got more help that I was expecting so things turned out perfectly.

Today was a bad morning. I can't find my keys. Anywhere. I'm sure they're in my apartment, cause i had them to get in. But somewhere between when I got in and when I was ready to leave, my keys disappeared. And I ran out of meds. I have ADD. Those of you who have seen me not on my meds, you know this is a BAD idea. I'm OK now, things worked out. But yeah. Not fun.

Now I'm finishing up a few things at Campbell House, then heading to the zoo with Daddy, Emily and LUke. I haven't been to the zoo in years. Luke's never been to the St. Louis Zoo. We're excited.

Wish me luck that i find those keys - kind of an important item!!

And for my next trick...

And for my next trick... I will... do... something...

That kinda sums up how I"m feeling right now. I graduated from graduate school yesterday. I'm SO excited about that. I am done and it feels AMAZING. The past few nights, I've gotten to do somethign I NEVER get to do - read for FUN. That's right people. I'm a nerd and I'm proud of it. Granted, I wasn't reading the next great American novel. It was books by Lisa Kleypas and Cathy Maxwell. Trashy roamnce novels, in other words. The bubble gum of literature. But still. It wasn't required for school. And I got to choose it. And I LOVED it.

But at the same time, I'm starting to get terrified. For the first time in my life, I don't know what my next step will be. Yes I'm doing the internship in Natchez. And I'm still in the race for one thing. I've applied several other places. And I know that it's gonna happen. I'm gonna find a full time job in a museum. But still. It's scary. Because I've done school straight, I've always known what the next step is. Elementary school, junior high, college, grad school. Yes with the latter two, I had to apply and get in. But still. I got in. I don't know what's next for me, at least after August. And for a control freak that worries about "What ifs", that's scary as hell.

The other thing is that I'm sad. Tonight I'm going out for one last hoorah with my cohort, or most of them at least. I don't know when we'll all be together again. Granted I could be back in St. Louis without a job after Natchez. But, for all I know (and hopefully this will happen), I could go down to Natchez, get a job this summer, and end up moving somewhere in August. Same thing could happen with a lot of these people.

The group I really haven't faced saying goodbye to is my church. It hit me today that I only have 2 Sundays left with them. Makes me really sad.

And then there's all the other friends I've made in St. Louis. ALl these people constitute groups that I would not have survived the past 2 years without. I'm so ready to know what the next step is and get to it. But I hate not knowing what it is. And I hate the thought of leaving these incredible people.

In other news, the surprise of having the song that was at Mom and Dad's wedding played at church today went off without a hitch! Tomorrow's the big anniversary party. I'm excited, it's gonna be great!

To all who read this blog and have been in my life in St. Louis the past two years. Thank you all so much. Know that I wouldn't have gotten through the past 2 years in St. Louis without you. I love you all.

OK. I've gotta stop writing this now or I'm gonna get way too depressed. As Magda said at Miranda and Steve's wedding on Sex and the City, "Come on everybody, it happy time! Clap clap clap, it happy time!"

Done done done done, done done done, done done done

[Sung to Darth Vader's theme]
Done done done done, done done done, done done done
Done done done done, done done done, done done done
DONE done duh-duh-duh-duh, done done done duh-duh-duh-duh
Done done done done done, done done done, done done DOOOOONNNNNEEE!!

That's right! I am DONE! My paper is finished! That was my last assignment for graduate school! I graduate on Saturday! I AM DONE!!!!!!

It feels AMAZING to say that. I've worked my butt off for 19 years straight (from kindergarten-2 years of masters). Now, on Saturday, I will walk across that stage and receive my advanced degree. Well, technically I will receive an empty folder. My actual diploma will come later. But the point is I will GRADUATE with my masters. I am done!

This feels especially good considering my day yesterday. I took the day off work to finish reading about the Cuban Missile Crisis and write my 15 page paper. I'm finally ready to start writing it. And my computer starts freezing. So I restart it. It does the same thing. I'm freaking out. Luckily my parents are only 5 minutes away, so I went over there and wrote it. 16 pages including a bibliography. 11.5 font, 1 in margins, 1.5 spacing. Over 6,000 words. But that thing is FINISHED AND TURNED IN. So I am done with UMSL's museum studies program! And fingers crossed, that means I will be done FOREVER!

Now there is a chance that I will not in fact be done forever. If I do the STEP program with Natchez, I will have to be a student. That means taking being enrolled at least 1/2 time in an accredited program online. In exchange I'd get to be the museum tech at Natchez, which could lead to a full time job. I would prefer just having a job, cause I'm really sick of school. 19 YEARS STRAIGHT PEOPLE. If you count preschool, I've been doing school since I was 4. That's a LONG TIME. WITH NO BREAK. I'm ready to get into the real world. But if the STEP program is my way into the real world, I'll figure out how to get into an online masters program for historic preservation and do a 2nd masters.

Right now I'm just enjoying the fact that, at least for a while/hopefully the foreseeable future, I have no homework. No assignments. No school. I am DONE!

I worked hard these past 2 years and Saturday is the culmination of it. In the words of James Brown -

OOOOH I feel good, done nah nah nah nah nah nah,
I knew that I would hah, done nah nah nah nah nah nah
SO GOOD! done done
SO GOOD! done
I feel good! done done done done DONE!
HEY!

Post-mother's day post

SO I hope you all had a great mother's day! I hope you made your mom feel really special. I think my mom had a good one. At least I hope she did. I went up and had breakfast with her at Lafayette Park, then I gave her her card and gift - a gift card to Park Ave. Coffee and the offer for me to work at the shop Thursday night and Sunday morning. Then Daddy and I cleaned the house while she worked the shop and I got to study a little. Emily came in with the Centenary improv troupe, Alan's Hot Tub. Luke got in late, he had to drive a girl who couldn't leave in the morning. You all missed a really great show, it was HILARIOUS! The kids were great and yours truly plus her mom got to jump into the "tub" and play! Awesomeness. Today Mom and Dad made the troupe breakfast and they headed out. So I think Mom had a good mother's day. I know she made me feel special - she gave me a necklace as a congratulations on finishing my exit project and to cheer me up cause I was bummed after Rosalie. It's got symbols for the things I care about - a star, for guiding me to the perfect job, a cross for my church, and a paw print for dogs/Bixby. I love my mom. Happy mother's day everybody!

Today I picked up my glasses. Yes I need glasses. The prescription's real slight, but I can definitely see better now. AND they look great, they definitely make me look older.

I also went to get my M-2 form. I kept waiting for the committee member I'd left the form with to come in so I could grab the form and take it to the committee chair. Waited 45 mins. Nothing. Then I got an e-mail from Jay saying Lankford, my chair, had it with both signatures and was bringing it to him. So that's in, and my exit project is DONE! So I just have a historiography paper due Wednesday and I am DONE WITH GRAD SCHOOL!!!!!!

Here's the potentially great news I got today. It has to do with the job description I referenced earlier. I tried to use a metaphor but I just couldn't get it to work so here goes. Basically I found out that the guy at the Ford House that I'm sending my stuff in to/would be my boss graduated from the UMSL museum studies program AND did his GRA at Campbell House. Yeah. Granted this does not guarantee me anything. BUT the fact that we have similar credentials may help me get a second look, rather than 20 secs and in the trash. AND it means he knows Campbell House, so I won't get the "This will teach you about small museums" I did from Rosalie. AND he knows 2 of my references. :-)

That's it. Hope you all had a good mother's day!

Life is a balance

It's amazing how balanced my big ups and downs seem to have been lately. So many times, when something I had really wanted ends up saying no, something else comes along that either says yes or indicates closer to a yes. One more sign that someone out there is looking out for me.

So I talked about my big news with "the race" yesterday. I've said some stuff on here about Rosalie before, the antebellum house with the manager position where I'd live behind the place. Just talked to the president of the board there. I didn't get it. Essentially they didn't think I was qualified for it. But that's OK. Cause I'm still running the race for something else and there's just me and 9 other runners left. And I was told that I had the best "form" of a runner that they'd seen, or one of the best... use the metaphor... Rosalie has offered me a summer hostessing job. I'd be giving tours on the weekends and helping the museum with anything they needed. Basically exactly what I do with Eugene Field House already, except I'd get paid minimum wage.

Here's the kicker on Rosalie though. It's not that I "wasn't qualified", cause the idea of running the house basically on my own did scare me. But I don't think they really looked at my resume. First off, she said "Well you're just graduating from college". Technically yeah, I am graduating. But WITH MY MASTERS. I'm not some untested undergrad with no real world experience! The other thing, and actually worse thing, is that they seemed to think that I've only worked with big federal museums and the National Park Service. She said that the summer hostessing job would give me a chance to see how a small house museum works because it's very different from the NPS, they have 2 gardners and they do everything themselves, 1 housekeeper and she does everything herself, etc. Yeah. I've seen how small historic house museums work. It's called 5 years at Campbell House Museum with 1-2 staff persons, interns, and volunteers. They don't even have a housekeeper. A board member comes in and cleans the place. Oh, it's also called Eugene Field House, where they have 3 paid staff members, 1-2 interns, and volunteers. It's all RIGHT THERE on my resume. And in my cover letter.

I'm not TOO upset. At least not as upset as I'd thought I would be. I kinda figured that was the case since I sent my stuff in over a month ago and hadn't heard anything. Plus I know that at least somewhere likes what I have thanks to my news yesterday. And I'm sending my stuff in for the job that Jay sent me. But still. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

At least this is balanced out by yesterday.

Believe it or not, I'm walking on air

Yep I used that cheesy song lyric as the title of my blog post. But I have a good reason. Cause I am.

My exit project is DONE! I've still got to get it in to Jay and my committee, and the museum may want to make some tweaks to the book before we print it to sell in the gift shop, but the binders are together and overall everything is DONE for the committee!!!! HUGE weight off my shoulders!

I can't say the other thing that really made my day and made me start walking on air. I don't want to jinx anything. Or be stupid and post something on my blog that someone sees and is like "Right, scratch that one off the list". But basically I got good news on something. It's not the ABSOLUTE BEST NEWS IN THE WORLD, SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAVE ME JUMPING UP AND DOWN AND FREAKING OUT that I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for (I think you can all deduce what that absolute best news would be) but it is good news.

Here's a metaphor for the news: I've been in a race for something. The finish line is towards the very very southern tip of the US, close to the place I was born, surrounded by water, where they sometimes have really big storms that have names. I found out today that I am still in the race, getting towards the home stretch, and a lot of the other runners, all but 10 of us, have been disqualified.

I think you can figure out my news now.

The other big news I have is that Jay Rounds, the head of my program, forwarded me another job posting. It's in Detroit. Education department in a historic house museum. What was it that I said I wanted?? Oh right, THAT. The guy had asked if Jay had anyone in mind for the position... he fwded it to me... and only me!

So yeah I"m feeling pretty good right now.

Well I'm off to dinner and drinks with my friend Sarah from HS that I haven't seen since graduation. Excited!

And can I just say how much I LOVE family and friends that get super duper excited for me when I tell them my news? I love you guys!