And for my next trick...

And for my next trick... I will... do... something...

That kinda sums up how I"m feeling right now. I graduated from graduate school yesterday. I'm SO excited about that. I am done and it feels AMAZING. The past few nights, I've gotten to do somethign I NEVER get to do - read for FUN. That's right people. I'm a nerd and I'm proud of it. Granted, I wasn't reading the next great American novel. It was books by Lisa Kleypas and Cathy Maxwell. Trashy roamnce novels, in other words. The bubble gum of literature. But still. It wasn't required for school. And I got to choose it. And I LOVED it.

But at the same time, I'm starting to get terrified. For the first time in my life, I don't know what my next step will be. Yes I'm doing the internship in Natchez. And I'm still in the race for one thing. I've applied several other places. And I know that it's gonna happen. I'm gonna find a full time job in a museum. But still. It's scary. Because I've done school straight, I've always known what the next step is. Elementary school, junior high, college, grad school. Yes with the latter two, I had to apply and get in. But still. I got in. I don't know what's next for me, at least after August. And for a control freak that worries about "What ifs", that's scary as hell.

The other thing is that I'm sad. Tonight I'm going out for one last hoorah with my cohort, or most of them at least. I don't know when we'll all be together again. Granted I could be back in St. Louis without a job after Natchez. But, for all I know (and hopefully this will happen), I could go down to Natchez, get a job this summer, and end up moving somewhere in August. Same thing could happen with a lot of these people.

The group I really haven't faced saying goodbye to is my church. It hit me today that I only have 2 Sundays left with them. Makes me really sad.

And then there's all the other friends I've made in St. Louis. ALl these people constitute groups that I would not have survived the past 2 years without. I'm so ready to know what the next step is and get to it. But I hate not knowing what it is. And I hate the thought of leaving these incredible people.

In other news, the surprise of having the song that was at Mom and Dad's wedding played at church today went off without a hitch! Tomorrow's the big anniversary party. I'm excited, it's gonna be great!

To all who read this blog and have been in my life in St. Louis the past two years. Thank you all so much. Know that I wouldn't have gotten through the past 2 years in St. Louis without you. I love you all.

OK. I've gotta stop writing this now or I'm gonna get way too depressed. As Magda said at Miranda and Steve's wedding on Sex and the City, "Come on everybody, it happy time! Clap clap clap, it happy time!"